Am I misunderstanding the mechanics of the service? When we all rolled out our sleeping bags and he realized the sleeping arrangements, I just asked him if he was a cuddler and watched him turn beat red. My tolerance for bed-sharing with anyone other than my husband has drastically declined in the last 5 years or so. Golly I ended up sharing a bed at a library conference this year! Even in heels, I only barely reached up to his chest. Looking back, I shudder, but at the time, like Alison noted, we were all pretty young — my manager was in her late 20s, I was in my early 20s. Would you want to know if he got off with a woman in a supermarket and went back to her place? A reader writes: Some coworkers and I recently went on overnight travel, and the plan was to have us split two hotel rooms.
Our rule is that students are 4 to a room, and adults are 2 to a room. We ended up having 4 women in one room, and I had to share a bed not only with a client, which was weird enough, but she was also someone I had just met the day before. Knowing I was disturbing a colleagues sleep means I would not sleep throughout the duration of the trip. For years as a young librarian, I had shared a room with three people. It was just amazing great sex.
It awakens all kinds of feelings and emotions. We had pledged to have and to hold, so I would walk bound to this man, and he to me for as long as life held its lease. I share the bathroom with lesbians and women who are attracted to women all of the time. With lawyers they were arguing against in court. It was awkward enough sharing with her. But we do things like that all the time.
Until one conference, where I was sharing a room with an older female board member. And we did know each other, so we got a laugh out of it. I did feel better that one of the women who shared a room did the room assignments and could have if she chose quieted any grumbling by letting the grumblers know that I had nothing to do with the assignments. I never really bought anyone drinks, nor did I ever ask for sex. But it should be a last resort, pun only kind of intended. As an adult, I need my own space and a little bit of privacy, and that is not an unreasonable expectation of business travel. However, I'm of the opinion that these norms were born in a different time - as a response to no contraception, no access to education and no sophisticated healthcare.
She was much, much older than me; maybe she was one of those conveniently dimwitted old tightwads who forgets that inflation exists. Female friends can hold hands, can hug in greeting, can hold one another while one cries. It seemed fine at the time. Band camp and all that. Daniel is a character hard to be defined whether he is naive and stupid or simply a good person. We were four to a room, sharing two queen beds, but it was fine since we got to pick our roommates.
Welp, he was really cute, so we danced for awhile then took him home with me, gotta take advantage when opportunities arise! I wish, oh how I wish it had occurred to me to ask for a cot! But if there is hotel-style accommodation available and they have enough rooms , you get your own room. I routinely got up 2 hours early just so I could be in and out with a minimum of fuss. I cannot picture me being so collected if it were a total stranger. My awful non-profit was very penny-wise but pound-foolish so they were always trying to save a little money here and there whenever they could. Everyone was required to have a roommate, which was randomly assigned. It went from flirting to sending naughty pictures and basically sexting.
Looking back, it was weird. Glad I never had to do that, either. It never got better from there…turns out that she hated me with a vengeance, and we were traveling every weekend together, from Thursday-Monday, and working 16-20 hour event days while on the road. Two full beds and a roll out cot. She then unexpectedly decided that she did not want to share her bed with him girl, you brought him to your hotel room, wth did you expect? I would start looking for employment elsewhere and as quickly as possible get a firm job offer set in place then inform these idiots that due to their hotel room bed sharing practices I no longer feel they represent me their employee in an acceptable professional employer for my resume. One minute I feel guilty for being such a tart. I understand business travel is expensive, but if its a cost of doing business then the company needs to pay for it.
And with people I liked. I have now brought this example up in three separate threads here. Even I think that it would be weird to require someone to share a bed with a coworker and not even let them know that it would happen ahead of time. We arrived late at night, they only had one room instead of the two we booked. But none of it is okay with me—people should be allowed their own space. He pulled them all in for a meeting because he thought it was true. It was not intended as an accusation of homophobia, though I can see how it sounded that way.