You're so fat you use hoola-hoops to keep your socks up. We agreed that whenever we ever had a fight, whoever was proved wrong would go outside and take long walk. You say that you are always bright and early. Because we hate bitches but we love us some pussy. A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there. The going got weird and he turned pro. Q: What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental! He has one brain cell, and it is fighting for dominance. I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening. And now, seing his auntient and opposite enimie the Pope, hath foysted in among us Petifoggers, who like sheete stealers, tinckers, or Connyskin buyers creepe in corners to utter their trash,. He can think without moving his lips! I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! It'll only take 10 seconds.
Did your parents have any children that lived? A: They both run at the first sign of emotion. Can I ignore you some other time? Don't you think it's a little early for Halloween? I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance. I'd like to give you a going-away present. He put her on every ride in the park — the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. A: Raising the feet, for the woman to pass the vacuum cleaner on the carpet.
~ Robert Reinhold ~ At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people - you are obnoxious in a different and worse way! It makes much more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest. If men can't focus on two things at once, then why do women have boobs? Q: What are a married man's two greatest assets? If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents! I don't think you are a fool. You have brains you never used. People say I've no taste, but I like you. Any more in the litter? Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? He named the street he owned after his wife.
On average, women cry between 30 and 64 times a year. If I were as ugly as you are, I wouldn't say hello, I'd say boo! Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them. Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be let out alone. A: They never stop to ask directions Q: How are husbands like lawn mowers? People say that you are outspoken but not by anyone that I know of. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. Women choose bad men over good men. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
They said you were a great asset. Expensive birthday present A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. I wouldn't piss in his ear if his brain was on fire! If I wanted to hear from an ass, I'd fart. You don't sweat much, for a fat girl. Q: What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
So how's life in the gutter? I will defend to your death my right to my opinion. Okay then, let's start with Kisses! Women fall in love with what they hear, men fall in love with what they can see, that's why women wear make up and men lie. Nobody can be as stupid as you in one lifetime. Q: What do you call a Roman soldier with a smile on his face and a piece of hair between his two front teeth? Why should I take all the credit? Q: What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight? A: A woman to show him how to work it. They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
I hear you are very kind to animals so please give that face back to the gorilla. If I want any shit outta you I'll squeeze your head. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you? You've got your head so far up your ass you can chew your food twice. A: He didn't want any advice. You should leave before somebody drops a house on you.