They can't get that high. Being a soprano is a great opera tunity. Q: What's the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor? How many punk-rock musicians does it take to change a light bulb? The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger. A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. A: Stop laughing and shoot again. .
A: Lay them good once and you can walk on them forever. What's the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and the average All-Pro offensive lineman? Q: How many altos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Spelke performs both the finger-licking and the bent-page corner methods. Q: What's the difference between a folk guitar player and a large pizza? We spent da' money on spliffs, mon! He doesn't know how to use the slide, and he can't swing. Q: How do you make an electric guitar sound like an acoustic guitar? They're both unforgiving and hard to get in and out of cars. What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner? Q: What is the difference between a high school choral director and a chimpanzee? Finding out it was traced. A: A large pizza can feed a family of four. Kindling for an accordion fire.
Q: Why was the musician arrested? Q: How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a light bulb? Did you hear about the planeload of conductors en route to the European Festival? Q: What's the difference between God and a conductor? The horses seem very relieved. Q: What did Mozart recently say to a noisy visitor? A: We don't know - lightbulbs last longer than most Boy Bands! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols. Bill was frightened that he might have hurt his dead uncle's prized parrot and quickly opened the freezer door. His seemingly lacking ability to adjust his air to the clarinet causes a tone so forced and horrific that decorum prevents me from continuing. A: On the first day of school he turns into the wrong classroom.
She told him to walk back over to the window. You can negotiate with a terrorist. It's something like a hammered dulcimer with a damper pedal. Upon finding no replacement, he takes the original apart, repairs it with a chewing gum wrapper and duct tape, changes the screw mount to bayonet mount, finds an appropriate patch cable, and re-installs the bulb fifty feet from where it should have been, to the satisfaction of the rest of the band. What's the difference between a conductor and a stagecoach driver? One to change it, 2,000 to record the event and take pictures of it, and 10,000 to follow it around until it burns out.
Q: Why is a violist like a terrorist? Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? Q: What's the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an average all-pro offensive lineman? Spending more time at work will give you less time to consider how stressed you are. Q: How many Musician jokes are there? Fetch me another tuba Bryll Cream! Tell yourself that your abilities are unlimited. But in the end, it doesn't even matter. If you have ever told, emailed, or otherwise communicated to me a music joke, thank you. Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison.
Q: A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. What does a German Hammond organist do in his life's most tender moments? Comes the big night, all the world is watching. Q: whats the differance between a pianist and god? Maybe it's on my page. A jazz musician dies and goes to heaven. Eventually the puppy stops whining. They're so macho they prefer to walk in the dark and bang their shins. Did you hear about the electric bass player who was so bad that even the lead singer noticed? Though lately the introduction of Plexiglas reflectors has reduced the danger to those behind the horns, unfortunately it presents a greater danger to the players themselves and those in front of them.
I played that last year. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world. What's the difference between a seamstress and a soprano? What is the range of a piccolo? After some thought, he decides on the accordion. What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common. Q: What's the difference between a symphony conductor and Dr Scholl's footpads? Must be willing to travel a lot David received a parrot for his birthday. So she proceeded to give him the best hand job he ever had.
How do you get a million dollars? The most effective countermeasure is to feed the tubist with great quantities of beer imports if you have them. On the bull the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back. No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him. A: A choral director with a mortgage. Stick your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes. I own it and I didnt inherit it.
Q: What's the definiton of Perfect Pitch? A: Give him a sheet of music. Q: What do all great conductors have in common? But first he has to pass a little test in musical theory. Q: Why can't voice majors have colostomies? Why is intermission only 20 minutes long? How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? There were two people walking down the street. A pizza can feed a family of four. A: When you toss a banjo into a dumpster and it hits an accordion.